Caterpillar

by Hand Practices

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1.
backed in a corner, nowhere to run load the last bullet into my gun take my ten paces, i turn to fire there's no one against me, naught to be won i've burnt all my bridges, fled from the past still got that bullet, i'm free at last held to my temple, i try to pull the trigger is loose my finger just can't i remember a day when i felt as if nothing could hurt me is there no other way? do you know how to get there again? are you lost and afraid? do you feel just like everyone else this is all gonna change that is what i keep telling myself i know it's only an imaginary weight i feel it hanging from the end of every chain and every time i try to gather all my strength i feel like it's just gotten heavier again wish i could tell you i didn't care about all these pieces beyond repair if i can ever love you again i'll send you a signal, shoot in the air
2.
on the end of a needle spinning on a wheel spinning on a wheel hit my head on every pin til i can't feel it's like i'll never slow down gotta get a hold of myself no matter where i land you'll spin me again spin me again not another revolution, now i'm back where i began and i get dizzy in the head one more spin and i'll be dead the sun shines the sun sets i get high i forget put me together just to tear me apart thought it was blood but it was hopeless art give me strength to make it i need an indication some kind of show of faith that it's gonna be okay you must be just as wasted baby it's time we faced it we're just in different places i love you anyway and i'm still dizzy in the head one more spin and i'll be dead the sun shines the sun sets i get by on hedged bets the dust piles my time's spent i get high i forget
3.
we will make it out alive i know that everything will be alright i'll see you on the other side i'm staying here but trust me dear i'm fine i just need time don't ask me why one day i'll come back out without you on my mind don't wait for me just wave goodbye i hope we can find peace within and if we don't let's just pretend we did cause after all i've sacrificed i don't think i've got anymore to give i just need time don't ask me why one day i'll come back out without you on my mind don't wait for me just wave goodbye i think i'm going insane trying to figure it out they told me that i could change but i'm beginning to doubt there's nothing that i can say but i'm still gonna shout
4.
07:06
i got so high that i saw god but he couldn't hear me shouting help me i am drowning another nightmare's coming on but i don't think i'm sleeping help me i am peaking help me i am peaking it'll all be fine if you let it go it was all inside your mind in time you will find your way back to yourself realize there's nothing outside i got so lost within my thoughts that i couldn't hear you calling help me i am falling i could've sworn i hit the ground but somehow i'm still sinking help me i am peaking help me i am peaking
5.
how could you have been so foolish to try and take on the entire universe? what did you think it would accomplish? what histories would it have changed? we're taking turns dizzy and sticking pins everybody wins you can't see them but they followed you home you can't see them but they're there the universe is fucking with your head for what it's worth there's no other way out you're upside-down a game of cat and mouse everybody wins
6.
i don't know what the fuck i'm thinking i don't know why i never learn but i can't, i can't can you? no i can't, i can't can you? feels like i'm floating past the ceiling these masks we wear are all for show when all i want is to hold on to everything worth letting go but i can't, i can't can you? no i can't again i should've known we'd both end up alone waiting right by the phone for someone to call say nothing at all these words don't matter anyway i should've known we'd both end up alone waiting right by the phone for someone to call say nothing at all is this how we fall in retrospect love with something that's gone?
7.
there was no other way out i should've left you a note to let you know i'm not returning i don't know what i'm turning into i want control i lost it all when i was searching for someone to save a reason to stay shapeshifting there's nothing working and we've both given up turning round in circles i thought of what i would say if our paths ever crossed but you wouldn't understand me wish you could and one day you will but it isn't the time til i'm not myself til i'm someone you can't change your memory dulls it's on the tip of your tongue can't remember what's shapeshifting i'm turning into static the outline of a face and i might just vanish through a giant hole in space pretended to be something it didn't seem to take i'm turning into nothing
8.
if in the end i could do one thing over i don't know i'd have to think i've got all these regrets for the most part they're nothing worth changing the past ought to be just going to keep on moving forward until it's safe to turn around if i disappear before all this blows over i hope no one comes looking for me cause if they even found me i would never be the same but that's ok so just go on let's be free just going to keep on moving forward and if i ever turn around i hope that it's all done burning down now that it's been quite some time since i walked off i forgot the way to get back home there are faces i miss and i wish i could tell them and i hope that they already know
9.
you love me like you don't know what love is so go ahead take everything i have to give we're saying words but we don't know what they mean it sounds absurd, but i don't think they mean a thing if what you heard was just the space left in between things are happening and that is okay let them be and they'll all go away set them free it's out of your control things are happening and that's okay it'll all be alright somehow it'll all be alright sometimes i forget why i'm walking on i see you standing there and suddenly you're gone if i walk a bit longer will you reappear? cause i am starting to believe you were never here and that everything i've been has faded to thin air things are happening and that is okay seems to me they happen everyday make your peace may god accept your soul things are happening and that's okay it'll all be alright somehow it'll all be alright how are you today no more looming rain clouds i'm feeling okay no more gloomy feelings no more worthless failure how are you today one big ray of sunshine i'm feeling okay one bright wave of starlight one last celebration i love you like i don't know what love is but i know love's the only thing that ever lives yeah, we all die, and so will all the things we did aim towards the clear blue sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull sky and pull
10.
it's so good to see you tell me how you've been why are we still living in the same mundane routine? i'm still getting by still living day to day who cares about the future? it turns to the past and fades away i better be going hope to see you soon i can only take so much til there is nothing i can do i'm still gonna love you until the day i die i don't have a reason, i don't need a reason why i can see a light i know it's not the sun still i'm moving towards it though i feel i should run the opposite direction as far as can be but everywhere i look light is still shining down on me sometimes it gets heavy it's all i can feel i gotta remember none of this is real i'm still gonna love you until the day i die i don't have a reason, i don't need a reason why

credits

released December 18, 2014

hand practices is
patrick betzold - guitar
robbie bourne - bass, vocals
max crowe - drums
josh kalvelage - vocals, guitar

this album also features
christopher smith - keyboards
dan smart - auxiliary percussion, organ

technical wizardry done by
dan smart @ echo/normal studios - recording, engineering, mixing
www.facebook.com/pages/Echonormal/932018463490659

&

adam boose @ cauliflower audio - mastering
www.caulifloweraudio.com

cover artwork by
conor campbell
www.newirishart.com/irish-artists/conor-campbell-artist.htm

add'l artowrok done by
patrick betzold

license

all rights reserved

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